Score: 1

"The rain was sort of soothing..."

submission: Stay in School

date: January 23, 2003

Here's a good reason for staying in school... learning how to spell "coming."

Score: 4

"What would we do without Dutchmen?"

submission: Greenpeace Commercial

date: January 14, 2003

I don't see why you have to be Dutch to understand that. I mean, our country's seals deflate when you puncture them just like yours! And who enjoys shooting bloodless, motionless birds out of the sky more than our good friends the Canadians? And, as we all know, the honorable Japanese are experts at sinking whales. Some German dude should make a movie involving genocide. Now THAT would be original!

Score: 7

"Is Mad losing?"

submission: A Warped Fairy Tail

date: May 7, 2002

Is Mad going under or something? First they start taking advertisements, now they're begging for tips on why no one likes their magazine anymore. Well maybe I can help. I bought Mad straight up to ninth grade, when I suddenly realized that the humor is stale and badly-worded, not to mention overal corny. What I mean is, the writing nowadays seems like it's written by a team of sixty year-old men. And your movie parodies... "Cannibal?" "MALpractice?" give me a break. It's not even charming corny. And you even parody tounge-in-cheek comedies. That's reduntant.
Easy fix to the problem: Just mature the humor. You're selling to too young a crowd. Only kids like your magazine, cause they don't understand sophisticated irony and high-quality parody. I recall my dad telling me once that Mad used to be considered razor-edged social commentary. Now it's like a bad comedian in front of a brick wall.

p.s. What the hell is "The Lighter Side" doing in publication? Does anyone under a hundred find it funny? Should I go back in time to the forties so I'll appreciate it? What moldy old man sold his soul to satan to get that in the magazine?

Devoted fan until puberty,
ryan P. gillarde