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All 15 movie Reviews


Stay in School Stay in School

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

The rain was sort of soothing...

Here's a good reason for staying in school... learning how to spell "coming."



Greenpeace Commercial Greenpeace Commercial

Rated 2 / 5 stars

What would we do without Dutchmen?

I don't see why you have to be Dutch to understand that. I mean, our country's seals deflate when you puncture them just like yours! And who enjoys shooting bloodless, motionless birds out of the sky more than our good friends the Canadians? And, as we all know, the honorable Japanese are experts at sinking whales. Some German dude should make a movie involving genocide. Now THAT would be original!


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A Warped Fairy Tail A Warped Fairy Tail

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Is Mad losing?

Is Mad going under or something? First they start taking advertisements, now they're begging for tips on why no one likes their magazine anymore. Well maybe I can help. I bought Mad straight up to ninth grade, when I suddenly realized that the humor is stale and badly-worded, not to mention overal corny. What I mean is, the writing nowadays seems like it's written by a team of sixty year-old men. And your movie parodies... "Cannibal?" "MALpractice?" give me a break. It's not even charming corny. And you even parody tounge-in-cheek comedies. That's reduntant.
Easy fix to the problem: Just mature the humor. You're selling to too young a crowd. Only kids like your magazine, cause they don't understand sophisticated irony and high-quality parody. I recall my dad telling me once that Mad used to be considered razor-edged social commentary. Now it's like a bad comedian in front of a brick wall.

p.s. What the hell is "The Lighter Side" doing in publication? Does anyone under a hundred find it funny? Should I go back in time to the forties so I'll appreciate it? What moldy old man sold his soul to satan to get that in the magazine?

Devoted fan until puberty,
ryan P. gillarde


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Zelda Sing Along Fun! Zelda Sing Along Fun!

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

????

How the hell did this get up to 3.62??? Are all you people retarded?



Cuz I got high Cuz I got high

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Not very good

All it was was still pictures put to the music. The song wasn't even funny - I mean, it was funny, but not laugh out loud funny. Sorta boring, overall.

--ryan



A Frightened Boy A Frightened Boy

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Weird

That had no solid plot or character structure whatsoever, but it was so goddam strange it kept my attention the whole time. Very pythonesque.

--ryan


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GR: Jailbreak (teaser) GR: Jailbreak (teaser)

Rated 4 / 5 stars

I don't like anime

But I understand why others like it. This looks good, japanimation or not.

--ryan



Talk Show Host Talk Show Host

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Pretty good

This movie, if nothing else, was original. I was sort of lost at the end because it went a little too slow for my taste, and I mentally trailed off. I liked how the map turned into an aerial shot of the building, though. If this had better art (one of the most important elements in noir)and had a faster pace it would've been much better.

Good though.

--ryan



Gun Control?! Gun Control?!

Rated 1 / 5 stars

am i back in 1774?

since when is the law enforced by a gun-toting civilian militia? i wanna go to this city.



around the world in...... around the world in......

Rated 0 / 5 stars

that was pretty damn funny

I like cynical people. I gave you a zero, just like you asked.